Sheryl Sandberg shares what she’s learned about loss and grieving

以下、Sheryl Sandberg の Facebook の投稿について、WSJから。
Sheryl Sandberg shares what she’s learned about loss and grieving – MarketWatch

Published: June 3, 2015 2:14 p.m. ET
By Claudia Assis
URL:http://www.marketwatch.com/story/sheryl-sandberg-shares-what-shes-learned-about-loss-and-grieving-2015-06-03

Sheryl Sandberg – Today is the end of sheloshim for my…   on Facebook

彼女(Sheryl Sandberg)のこのメッセージには共感する点が多い。突然に伴侶を亡くすなど、誰もがする経験ではない。願わくば、したくはない。しかし人は必ず死ぬ。夫婦であればどちらかが先に逝く(「同時に」もあろう。それらの多くは事故や災害だろうから、より悲しみは深い)。

While the experience of grief is profoundly personal, the bravery of those who have shared their own experiences has helped pull me through. Some who opened their hearts were my closest friends. Others were total strangers who have shared wisdom and advice publicly. So I am sharing what I have learned in the hope that it helps someone else. In the hope that there can be some meaning from this tragedy.

同じような経験をした人の話や言葉、「悲しみ」に添おうとしてくれる気持ち、それらがどれほど助けになるか、それがわかった。「それを共有することが誰かの助けになる、希望になる」と、これを記した彼女は、聡明で勁さをもった人なのだろうと思う。

I have learned that I never really knew what to say to others in need. I think I got this all wrong before; I tried to assure people that it would be okay, thinking that hope was the most comforting thing I could offer.(中略)
Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not. When people say to me, “You and your children will find happiness again,” my heart tells me, Yes, I believe that, but I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the truth. Even a simple “How are you?”—almost always asked with the best of intentions—is better replaced with “How are you today?” When I am asked “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am? When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.

妻の死からしばらくの間、「お寂しいでしょう」「ご不自由でしょう」といった類の言葉をかけられた。受ける側からすると、これらはたんに「私はあなたの不幸を知っている」という意味でしかない。そんな言葉しか持たないのなら、ただ「こんにちは」だけの方がよほどありがたい。彼女も同じようなことを書いている。

I have learned gratitude. Real gratitude for the things I took for granted before—like life. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug. I no longer take each day for granted.

彼女は「感謝することを学んだ」とも記す。子供たちをみて、ただ、生きているということにも感謝の念をいだくのだと。

妻の死のあと、私もいくつかのことを学んだ。悲嘆や絶望は永遠に続くものではない、日々の暮らしを重ねて行くことで、少しずつだが、確実に薄まってゆくものなのだと。

追記(2015/06/09)
日本語版:「喪失感と悲しみを超えて」 サンドバーグ氏、亡き夫偲ぶエッセー – WSJ